Unfathomable.

This week, I was lucky enough to see Henry two more times. Once on Tuesday, where they did a growth scan (he’s estimated at over 8 lbs now! But those are notoriously wrong, so the doctor told me I could expect anywhere from a 7.5-8.5 lb baby). Then today, I had another ultrasound so they could perform another biophysical profile. He scored a perfect 8/8 again.

The kid is already funny. He was kicking the tech like crazy, so she put the 3D on his face. He had the cutest little pout and chubbiest little cheeks. We both laughed at his little face. I think he’s his father’s clone, but we’ll see. Those 3D ultrasounds look kinda funky.

As I’m writing this, he’s moving around in there, just days from gracing us with his little presence. I’m feeling really blessed and simultaneous sorrow and grief for the families in Connecticut who received the worst news of their lives today. My heart just breaks for them. It’s completely unimaginable. Unfathomable. But there are people living it. Mamas who just a few years ago felt those same kicks and movements…now suffering greater than most of us ever will. I can’t even put my thoughts into words properly, so I’ll stop now.

God bless those people, their family, and the community.

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Dear Henry

Dear Henry,

Only a few more days until you’re here! I can’t even begin to tell you how excited we are. By we, I mean everyone. Your family, your friends, people I used to work with. Your little life is a much celebrated one (making your mama feel very lucky and blessed).

The doctor told me today that if you don’t come on your own by December 16, then she’s going to evict you. The eviction process is long and painful (but hopefully no Sheriff’s Department involved), so if you could find it in your heart to come before then, I’d appreciate it.

Of course, I also just want you to take your time. Stay in there as long as possible because once you’re out, you’ll probably want to go back in. It’s so warm and cozy in there, huh? On the other hand, the odds that you’d be born on my Grandma Knapp’s birthday will be good if we have to coax you out of there. So, really, whatever works for you.

I can’t wait to hold you and kiss your face. I become a crying mess when I just think about how much I already love you. Your mom is a nutcase, I know.

Anyway, we’re ready for you and waiting. We have your room all set up, a car seat installed, a stroller to push you around, a swing to help you sleep, and so much more. You’ve got it made, kid. Do you have any idea how many onesies you own? A lot.

Also, be prepared to be the center of attention for a while. Hope you’re cool with that.

Love you more than words on a blog could ever express,

Mom

Packin’ Up.

I have a feeling this baby is coming soon.

First of all, he is looooow. He keeps moving further and further down, making walking or standing for me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. The Braxton Hicks are ridic and getting to the point to where I start to wonder if I’m really in labor. In all honesty, as uncomfortable as I am, I really hope he stays in there a couple more weeks. My last day of work is this Friday. I’d like to have some time at home, resting, and doing some last minute prep. I am fully aware that once baby comes, all “me” time is out the window for a while. Just a couple days of laying in the recliner and watching season 2 of Downton Abbey on Hulu Plus would be cool.

In preparation, we finally put all of his washed clothes away (they’ve been folded…and sitting in the crib for roughly two weeks thanks to colds and general exhaustion).

clothes_cribOk, not all of them were folded.

baby clothes foldedNow they’re nice and folded and ready to be worn by a cute baby.

We are getting the bags packed and ready to go and we’re doing some cleaning the house today. I bought the breast pump, got some nursing bras, and the baby has more crap than he (or anyone) needs.

baby bagHenry’s baby bag for the hospital. Got some sleeping gowns, a couple onesies, an outfit to come home in, mittens, socks, a little hat, a swaddler, and a blanket. 

diaper bag 1

diaper bag 2I got this bag years ago as a gift from a client of mine. I gave it to Chris, but he never really used it. It’s a perfect diaper bag because it means Chris will freely carry it around shame-free, and I honestly hate most diaper bags on the market. I bought a $10 fold out portable changing mat and stuck it in there. It’s got lots of pockets, too, so bonus.

Even if baby doesn’t come on his own soon, he’ll be here around Dec. 17 regardless. My blood sugars were doing ok…then my morning fasting numbers started to creep up. I told my OB and she told me if my perinatologist (who is monitoring me monthly as well) puts me on meds, they will induce me on or before Dec. 17. I really don’t want to be induced, I’ve heard such horror stories. So far, the perinatologist has NOT put me on medication (because the dose would be really low — half of the lowest dose from the pharmacy. Meaning, I’d have to physically cut each pill in half before I take it). He doesn’t see the point. But, we’ll see. I’m sure I’ll find out more tomorrow.

So, we’re physically ready. When do I become mentally ready? I felt like this pregnancy was going so slow. Now, it’s going by too fast. Ah!

The days of my life.

Just a quick update on what’s been going on. Brace yourselves. It gets crazy. Ok, not really.

  • Thanksgiving happened and that was fun. I was really worn down all day, but I chalked that up to being so pregnant.
  • The next morning I woke up with a sore throat and stuffy nose. Uh oh. We all know what that means. I immediately started drinking tons of fluids and taking Emergen-C to heed off a cold. It didn’t work. The cold still happened.
  • It sucks having a bad cold and being pregnant, just FYI. I had an OB appt today, but canceled because I don’t want to leave the house. I left the house yesterday and the cold, dry air really messed with my lungs and sent me down a spiral of hacking and dizziness. I left a message with the nurse to call me back and tell me what kind of drugs I can take (preferably ones that help me sleep). She called back and told me no Emergen-C but laughed when I told her too late. No biggie, just not recommended by her office. Oops. Baby is still disco dancing in my uterus, so I’m not worried.
  • I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I’ve been watching a lot of football with my husband (and kinda liking it) and also becoming slightly obsessed with the Star Wars movies.
  • I am almost 37 weeks pregnant, which is full term. Scary. We’ve still got a few things to get like a breast pump (really leaning toward the Hygeia, since it’s come so highly recommended by my doctor and my mother-in-law the nurse), and some nursing bras (thanks to Tamara for reminding me I need those), and some other little things. We’re pretty much all set up here with everything else. And baby clothes? He is set until he’s one. It’s kinda crazy. And I keep buying them, so I am also crazy.

Here’s one pile. There’s a lot more. Our mothers cleaned out a Carter’s or two.

  • Blood sugar is still good. Still annoyed at having to poke myself four times a day.

All I wanna do is sleep and eat cereal.

I had the day off Friday. I slept almost the entire day. I got up around 5 and got ready for dinner with some friends. So that’s that.

Saturday, I woke up early and had a TON of energy! I had so much energy that I was worried it was a sign of impending labor. I’m at almost 36 weeks, and I want this kid to cook as long as he can (without going over, please). We checked off so much from our to-do list yesterday, including the big things like pre-registering at the hospital and getting Chris the flu shot. Next up, he’s gotta get the DTAP shot. That one’s a little more painful.

Piece of cake.

We also test drove some recliners at La-Z-Boy, checked out some new glasses for me (since contacts will be impractical for a while), and did a full grocery shopping trip. For me lately, this is crazy busy. By the time we got home, not only was I exhausted, but my feet and legs were killing me. I am very thankful for a husband that rubs my feet. VERY.

My fears about getting a burst of energy before labor may be wrong because today? More sleeping. Then a bath. Then dinner. Then lots of laundry (including all of Henry’s baby clothes). And now blogging and not doing other things I should/meant to do today. I’ll probably go to bed early. I’m exhausted again.

I’m still monitoring my blood sugar and everything is still normal. It’s actually kinda interesting seeing what does and doesn’t make my blood sugar levels spike. Like tortillas and veggie chicken patties make it go way up. Pizza and liquid creamer does nothing. After 5 days of doing this, I weighed myself and I’ve lost 3 pounds. Maybe I’ll keep it up even after the baby is born. It’s basically high protein and counting carbs and sugar. I haven’t even glanced at the calories or fat on things for a change, so it’s not so bad. But honestly, I’d kill someone for a bowl of cereal right now, so it’s not easy either.

No pie for Thanksgiving, but I was given the green light on cheesecake. Maybe I will make that an annual tradition from now on. I don’t need no pecan pie.

Mmmmmm…pecan pie.

My life lately…

…has consisted of me doing the following things:

  1. Lots of doctor’s appointments. All is status quo. Baby is 5 lbs 12 oz now with 4 weeks to go. I’ve been monitoring my blood sugar and all is normal. The doctor is just being over cautious, which is…whatever. I am an exemplary patient. I do what they tell me to do.
  2. I have an almost 6 pound baby directly on my bladder. We saw his face again on Tuesday. He’s pretty damn cute if I do say so myself.
  3. Chris and I took a childbirth class. That was actually pretty interesting and I probably could have blogged about it. But. I didn’t. Sorry. Anyway, I learned a lot and so did Chris. He took a ton of notes and was really engaged. That made my heart pretty happy.
  4. After the birth class, we did something social for a change and had dinner with some friends. They were so kind to grill us some steak and we spent hours just talking and laughing. That was nice since once Henry comes I’m sure our social life will be even more non-existent.
  5. I finally had to fill out our birth plan. As of now, here’s where I stand: I am gonna go for all natural (like I’ve always wanted) but I’m signing the waiver form for an epidural in case I want one. And if things don’t work out how I want them to, then I’m not going to beat myself up over it (as long as baby is ok). The only thing I am adamantly against are analgesic pain killers.
  6. I’m training my replacement at work, which makes the whole “I’m going to be a stay at home mom!!!” more and more real. My life is about to be unrecognizable, and I’m both excited and anxious.
  7. I’ve gained a total of 20 pounds and I’m happy about that. My doctor thinks most of it is water weight since my legs and feet ARE HUGE. At my appointment yesterday, the doctor pulled up my pant leg to check out the swelling and audibly gasped. I wasn’t even offended. I was all, “Yeah, I know. It’s crazy, huh??” Let’s put it this way: I was wearing socks with monkeys on them (I’m 13 apparently) and the outlines of the monkeys were embedded onto my feet. And the top of the socks left a good 1″ dent in my ankles. Cankle town is no joke anymore. It’s  REALLLL.

I promise to be better about blogging soon. I’m just so exhausted lately. Last night, I laid down at around 8 pm and passed out cold. The other night, I fell asleep mid-sentence while talking to Chris and holding my iPad. I woke myself up a little while later by snorting really loudly and had drooled all over myself. Sexy.

Growing a kid takes a lot of a girl.

My weekend in pictures.

 

 

 

Tiny nursery is almost done! 

 

I put this together myself. There were screws and everything!

 

Can you tell he’s excited to be a dad?

 

I put on makeup! I don’t look amused for some reason though. Probably because I feel like a beached whale…in makeup.

 

He’s really looking forward to carrying his baby around.

 

For a future project (or 2) that will be the subject of a blog (or 2) very soon. I LOVE THIS STUFF.

 

UGH. I guess I should finally fold this laundry. Yes, that’s my giant belly. I couldn’t angle it so it wasn’t in the pic. 

Other things I did that didn’t get pictures:

Pedicure (I was too relaxed to take a picture. I love the leg massage in particular.)

Watched Magic Mike with my husband. I didn’t think it would be awkward, and it wasn’t. He knows that ain’t my type. I like the baby-faced nerd type.

Shake that booty.

I used one of my remaining vacation days at work yesterday to tackle the 3 hour glucose test. I got there as soon as they opened, 6 am, and I felt nauseous before I even drank the crap. Fasting when you’re almost 34 weeks pregnant is not easy. The tech was a little wet behind the ears, but nice enough. He told me that the vast majority of women don’t make it the entire 3 hours before throwing up. Great. Thanks, dude.

I brought an iPad and watched some movies, which helped keep my mind off my queasiness a little bit. At the 1 hour draw mark, I noticed they were late getting me. So I went to the front desk and told them. It took them 10 minutes to call me back.  I was beyond pissed off. I told the tech that I wasn’t going to be here longer than I needed to and I sure as hell wasn’t re-doing this test, so he needed to remember me for the next 2 draws. At that point, I broke down into tears. Embarrassing. After he drew my blood, I went into the bathroom and cried for 15 minutes like a maniac. I was hungry, thirsty, tired, shaky, and really mad. The tears just kept coming and I was defenseless against them.

After that, I went outside for some fresh air and saw some people getting ready for an early morning balloon ride. It’s amazing how quickly I calmed down just by watching some damn balloons inflate.

It must be the pretty colors.

The next two hours went rather quickly, thankfully. And I didn’t puke! By the time I got home, I was so drained. I ate some food and passed out cold for a few hours. Then I woke up, answered my husband’s text messages, and promptly passed out again for a couple more hours. I’m so glad I had the foresight to take the day off.

Now I wait to see if I passed. I honestly think I did, but who knows. I’ve got a little over a month left in this pregnancy, so worst case scenario is I have to change up my diet a little for the remaining days. No biggie. I’ll do what I need to do.

In other baby news, the baby shifted again today. He’s been head down for a while, but his head was nestled on my left side and his butt on the upper right of my belly. This morning, I actually saw his little butt move to the middle of my belly. Then it started moving back and forth. He was shaking his booty! I called Chris in to see, and we both laughed. He’s already the light of our lives and we couldn’t be more crazy about this baby. I can’t wait to hold him.

Ok guys and gals. Make sure you vote on Tuesday (or before). Chris and I went last week to get the early vote on. There is no excuse for not voting, so just doooo it.

 

Party of one.

I’ve been thinking of a way to write this post for a while but had no idea how. I guess I still don’t know how, but it’s important that I put this out into the Universe so I can let it go. Let it gooooo.

I know that a lot of my readers (and blogs that I frequent as well) are either women trying to conceive (TTC in internet) or have had recent miscarriages. I read their blogs and my heart breaks for them because I’ve been there in both instances. A little wave of guilt rushes over me when I write about my pregnancy milestones or post pictures of the baby’s room, even though it’s a special time for me. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or come off as insensitive.

When I lost the pregnancy last year, it was the most intense pain (emotionally and physically) that I’d ever experienced. People telling me (innocently) that they hoped I could conceive and carry a child to term just poured salt in the wound. What if it was my body? Did I kill my baby? Is it because I have a negative blood type? Is it because I’m overweight? Lots of women struggle with infertility…will I? All of these things flooded my brain every second.

A couple months after the miscarriage, I told Chris we were going to get to town on this conception business. I was going to chart shit out and make it happen. To my surprise, it did. And the freaking out began.

There’s already so much I can’t control, so I wanted to control everything I could. No caffeine, no lunch meats, no ibuprofen, no feta cheese, you get the idea. I also ate pretty healthy. Like, better than before I got pregnant and was on a constant diet. I did not enjoy my first trimester. I was throwing up, I was nauseous, completely exhausted, and I really craved Greek salads. On top of that, I was scared out of my mind. I just couldn’t relax.

We all know things are going fine right now, but the truth is, I still worry about this pregnancy. I still wake up every day scared because I haven’t felt Henry move all night. That first morning kick is the best feeling in the world. And after passing the first glucose test, my doctor insisted I re-take the 1 hour glucose test again. I failed. FAILED. That word again. My body failed. I don’t eat a lot of sweets and I haven’t gained much weight, but guess what? I failed again. Now comes the 3 hour tolerance test (fun) and I’m panicking a little. I know the majority of women who fail the 1 hour go on to pass the 3 hour. But I’m still scared. I just want to have the healthiest baby possible. I don’t want my body to hurt another one — especially this one.

If you happened to make it through this pity party, a) congratulations and 2) thanks for listening. I feel better already.

Nesting mania.

The nesting has hit full force.

I’ve got around 7 more weeks until this baby comes, but I HAVE to have everything ready NOW NOW NOW. We’re almost there, too.

Our little nursery is turning out super cute and just how I imagined it. We aren’t 100% done yet, but here are a few pics.

Decals from Blik. Yoda still chillin’.

We got a dresser from a super sketch furniture liquidator place, but it was cheap and sturdy. It was too dark to get a decent shot of it, but you get the idea.

I love lamp.

These next two things I am actually pretty proud of. I’ve wanted some framed art in there but had no idea what to do on the cheap. So I got my creative juices flowing and bought some kraft wrapping paper ($4.99 from World Market) and got some  frames on sale. I then carefully cut out squares from each and aligned it how I wanted it to look with the matting.  The results are totally adorable in my humble opinion. These will go above the dresser when Chris has time to hang them up for me.

I also plan on using the rest of this paper to line the drawers. Another fun project for next weekend.

My mom put blood, sweat, and tears into a baby quilt for us. I love it so much. I look at it and get a little emotional because I helped pick out the pattern and fabrics back when baby was the size of a lima bean and I was still a nervous wreck. I remember feeling like I was jinxing things by even thinking about making a baby quilt. I think I even cried at Joann’s Fabrics, which was awkward. Now I’m sitting here on my bed, feeling him kick my kidneys, and I feel so blessed. So very, very lucky. A little bloated and sore, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I just can’t wait to wrap him up in it. It’s already got so much love in its stitches.