17 months.

I can’t do Yoda poses anymore. My climbing/running/crazy toddler won’t sit still long enough and when I attempt to make him, baby rage comes out and he throws Yoda across the room and does this:

henry_17mo

A far cry (pun intended) from this little ball of joy just one short year ago:

5months

I’ll just try again when he turns two. They always mellow out by age two right? (hahaha) But in all seriousness, and despite the above picture, Henry really is a sweet, good baby. Here’s some new fun Henry facts:

  • He loves getting out of the house. It doesn’t matter where we go, just as long as it’s not in the house. Lately, I don’t even bother with putting him in a cart or carrying him if we’re going to a bookstore or Target for one or two things. He will easily and happily walk along with me and hold my hand. When I tell him to not touch something, he stops touching it. In short, it’s fun to take him places and I like hanging out with him. Really.
  • He can climb stairs by himself (and give me about 14959 heart attacks in the meantime)
  • He can do things on the iPad and iPhone that I don’t even know how to do. But it is cool to just hand him the iPad and watch him swipe to turn it on and find his apps. Today, he started tracing letters with his fingers in his alphabet app. People who try to tell me tablets aren’t beneficial for toddlers, I’ll show them Henry tracing his ABC’s at 17 months old.
  • There’s not much on the speech development front, though he is always “talking.” When actual intelligible words are formed, I will never get a word in edgewise, so I’m not rushing it. However, he understands EVERYTHING we say. It amazes me sometimes all that he understands.
  • He eats everything. Anything you give him, he will try. Oh, sorry, no. Except meat. He has all his teeth (minus the 2-year molars) and can bite through an apple core (yes, this happened) but he won’t eat meat. Half of a caesar salad? Yes. Chicken? No.
  • He is very snuggly. This is my most favorite development. I love when I’m in the kitchen cooking or doing dishes and I just feel these little arms wrap around my leg.
  • When we moved into this apartment, we decided to scrap the home office and just give Henry a full room. This was the best decision I’ve ever made. He LOVES his room. It has really fostered a new independence in him and he doesn’t need to be entertained all the time anymore. I love peeking in there to him reading or stacking blocks or whatever kids do. On a bittersweet note, he loves his room so much that he no longer wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to get in bed with me. He’s sleeping 11-12 hours a night, on his own. I’ll be honest, I miss it.

henry reading

I feel like I am forgetting so many things, but what more can I say? He’s amazing. An average toddler to most, but my world, and I feel so lucky to have him. I thank God every night for him and try to steal as many snuggles, kisses, and laughs as I can every single day.

It just keeps getting better with him, really, tantrums and all.

Ten things I never expected about being a mom

There were things I knew to expect when becoming a mom. I knew about the sacrifices and lack of sleep. I knew that it would be E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E. I knew my heart would burst with love (although you really can never prepare for the hormones and just how raw you feel all the time). But there were some things I totally didn’t see coming:

1) That you can totally still hear the TV when the volume is almost off. Anything more than a whisper at this point is just loud to me now.

2) You can sing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” 5,654 times in a row and halfway through the 5,655th time, you completely forget the words. Not that it matters. “Itsy Bitsy Spider” could be “Happy Little Hotdog.” All the same to
Henry.

3) Going to the bathroom alone is a luxury.

4) How much babies change over night. One day, they’re completely immobile. The next, you leave him on the couch for a second while you make a bottle and he almost rolls off.

5) How things that are usually disgusting are now cute or celebrated. Like, “good job, you pooped! Yay!” Or “awww, he just cleared the room with that gas. Hahah, funny baby!” You can’t get away with any of that as an adult.

6) I never thought about germs more than I do now. I was a clean person before, but now it’s in overdrive. Clorox wipes are my friend.

7) Zippers > snaps when it comes to jammies. Snaps are just stupid. Why do they need to go down both legs? Just give me snaps on one side! Or better yet, no more snaps!

8) I never expected other moms to be so judgmental. Women are really mean to other women. As long as your kid is being taken care of and loved, then whatever. Do what works for you and leave me the hell alone. K? Thanks. (If I see you feeding your newborn Cheetos, I might say something though.)

9) I never knew how many meals I would eat one-handed. A lot is the answer.

10) Accepting help when offered, and asking for it when needed, is not only ok but absolutely necessary to stay sane. I’m one of those martyrs that likes to do it all myself but complain that I did it all myself. I don’t do that anymore. I’m lucky that I have my husband who lets me sleep in on the weekends and parents who watch Henry whenever is requested. I’ll never say no to help again.

I also never expected to give birth to such a cute, funny little creature who makes me laugh all day. Look at this face!

20130609-210930.jpg

And I’m feeling good.

I’m feeling great lately. Like, really and truly great. I’m not as tired (the lack of tears helps), I’m getting out of the house more, I’m not in any pain, and I have the sweetest baby, most awesome husband, and terrific family. I’m being for real. I’m so happy.

After a few rough, emotional days, I perked up and got my act together. I have this beautiful baby that I get to raise, and that’s my focus. Everything else is secondary. Coming to that realization has been freeing. I am now just enjoying every second I have with him instead of obsessing over what I can’t control.

I’ve said it before, but I am so lucky to have my mom nearby. She only works two days a week, so the rest of the time she is eager to come over and see her grand baby. Chris and I were able to go to the mall Sunday AM alone. We sampled fro yo, shopped for Henry (of course), and bought a smoothie. It was so nice to just be with him like we were BH (before Henry). But we couldn’t wait to get home to our baby. Especially because grandma got the diaper explosion on her watch. Grandma also pops around sporadically to give me a break and watch Downton Abbey. During her visit yesterday, I was able to take a long bath. When I got out, she’d fed the baby and started making me a meatloaf. I’m getting (even more) spoiled.

Another upside to feeling more human: more stuff is getting done around the house. The other night, I was able to tackle the giant pile of clean laundry that we never put away (basically everything we own was in this pile) and fold and put up. I felt so accomplished. Honestly, I think I slept better the last few nights because of it. That pile haunted me.

On Monday I had a couple hilarious friends stop by with food. I didn’t want them to leave. Adult conversation during business hours is rare for me lately. If I’m not singing a song or talking baby speak to Henry, then I’m not talking. After, I got to go to my OB for my annual exam. Yay! Ok, not yay. I must have been craving more adult convo time, because most of the appointment was spent yapping to both the doctor and the nurse about anything and everything. The doc shares my same affinity for cheese, so that’s good. Then she stuck a speculum up there and I didn’t like her as much anymore.

Oblig baby photo:

babybrowneyes

I’m placing my bets that those peepers are gonna be brown.

Catching up.

I’ve been wanting to write a blog for a few days now, but couldn’t remember my password. The “forget password” feature is great…if you remember which email you used to sign up. Which I don’t. Anyway, I finally got in.  Also, Henry is very attached to his mama, so as soon as I decide to do anything non-baby related, he reminds me of his precious existence and demands I pay attention to him. He’s sleeping in his swing now. Let’s see how far I can get.

So much going on, not enough time to blog about it.

  1. Henry is 1 month old this week. I feel like I’m finally getting this motherhood thing down and becoming more comfortable doing things like clipping his nails (I go old school and chew them off myself. Like a monkey in the wild), giving him a bath, and sucking boogers out of his nose (thank you, saline drops!) 
  2. I still worry about things like feeding him. My breast milk is still not fully in and at this point, it probably won’t ever be.  Not for lack of trying! I feel like a freaking dairy cow. I nurse him CONSTANTLY and then pump. But, I’m going to boob him until I can’t boob no more. And supplement with formula. A growing boy has got to eat, and as long as he’s getting some of the liquid gold at every meal, I’m ok with that. I was NOT ok with that for a long time and spent a fair amount of time crying/feeling extremely guilty, but I’m over that now. The act of nursing in of itself, I love, and so does Henry. He just doesn’t get a full meal unfortunately. I’m also pumping and supplementing that way, so my guilt levels are slowly dwindling. And who knows, it could all turn around and I could nurse exclusively. I ain’t giving up yet. **Oh, and please no breastfeeding advice. I’ve talked to lactation consultants, borderline harassed my pediatrician for reassurance and guidance, and read everything you can read on it. I can’t take anymore advice. I get it.**
  3. THANK YOU LORD FOR MY HUSBAND. I get the weekends to catch up on sleep thanks for my wonderful husband. He’ll stay up late and let me get a head start on bedtime. I will get like 6-7 hours sleep on the weekends, which are like, amazing. He also changes all diapers when he’s home. That’s invaluable. He’s a great emotional support too, and doesn’t make me feel crazy for being crazy.
  4. I am also thankful to the Lord for having such a good baby. He’s so easy going and such a deep sleeper. Actually, his deep sleepiness scares the crap out of me. I’m always checking to see if he’s breathing. I have to tickle him to get him to very slightly move. Then I lay down. And check on him again in 10 minutes. It’s eerie how deep he sleeps! You’d do it too, you know it.
  5. Some sad news: Quincy (my beloved fur baby) was staying at my mom’s house while I healed from the c-section. We brought her home and after a couple days, she was miserable and I was miserable because she was so miserable. Everything around here had changed and I wasn’t exclusively paying attention to her. Her anxiety levels were through the roof. When I was nursing Henry, she would shake so hard that the whole couch would move. When he cried, she would start shaking and crying. No matter how many methods we used to try to soothe her, it didn’t work. On top of that, my mom’s miniature schnauzer, Benny, went into a deep doggy depression after Quincy left. He wouldn’t eat or go outside. So, I had to make a heart breaking decision, for Quincy’s sake and ours, and let her go back to my mom’s. I just couldn’t stand her being so miserable and anxious. It was really hard to watch. Over at my mom’s, she thrives. She has a yard to play in, my step dad lets her sleep next to him in bed, and she has her friend Benny. She also gets a treat for everything. It’s doggy paradise over there. Hopefully this is not permanent, because we miss her terribly, but I couldn’t stand seeing her so anxious and miserable. Change is not easy. Not for us and not for Quincy. Oh great, now I’m crying again.
  6. I cry a lot.
  7. I have great friends who make/bring me food all the time. Thank you, friends. I probably wouldn’t eat some days if it weren’t for you.

So that pretty much catches us up. We cancelled cable, and put Apple TV’s and HD digital receivers in both rooms. So we get the networks and all kinds of shows. I’ve been watching Revenge on Netflix. It’s kind of a stupid show, which means I can’t stop watching it.

Baby is stirring now. I made it through a whole blog post!

Obligatory baby photos:

henry couchJust hanging with the ‘rents in my jammies.

henry momWith grandma Suzanne. She is nutso about this baby. He’s…sleepy.

henry angelBasically? He’s an angel. Basically.