Curveballs and learning to walk.

Oh, how quickly things can change in life. Just when I thought things were finally going my way and I was comfortable for the first time maybe ever, life threw a curveball. I won’t (can’t) go into details, but I will say it’s times like these that remind me of what’s truly important. Things like my healthy and happy baby boy (who is now WALKING at almost 11 months old), a loving husband, and amazing family and friends. I can’t believe the outpouring of support and love I received from the few people I confided in, but it humbles me. It really made the initial shock of what happened much easier to bear and helped me focus on the positive.

I will share what’s going on in the near future, but for now, check out Henry walking. He’s also talking more saying “nana” for his favorite food banana, mama, dada, bye bye, night night, no no, baba (he says this for the actual bottle and also when he’s just hungry. He’ll point to his high chair and say “baba.” If I say, “are you hungry, do you want some dinner?” He’ll say “baba!!” and make his way to the kitchen.)

This video is a few days old. He’s a lot more stable now and even doing a little bit of running, which is fun (not really).

Freedom Bombs (an Ode to Derek)

I’ve recently taken on a part-time gig at a good friend’s recently opened law firm. I go into the office a few hours a week and I work from home a few hours a week. It’s pretty great.

This friend of mine, Derek, is awesome. I’ve always been a huge fan of his and knew he would go far and be successful. In college, we were thick as thieves until he moved away for law school (I begged him to go to law school in ABQ; he eventually transferred back here). We did everything together. The most meaningful moments for me were just hanging out in his car, listening to music, or  making bizarre art in his basement. I once recorded a song at his house called “Freedom Bombs” (this was in 2004-2005 time frame). We still laugh about that. When I was a reporter/news editor for the Daily Lobo, he would come with me on assignments and take pictures. I covered politics and, during the 2004 presidential election, he stayed with me all night in the basement of city hall waiting for the results. One of my favorite memories is when I covered a story about an old war veteran who was running for congress. We went to his home to interview him and sat in his dark kitchen. The interview was great and the guy was really interesting. For the picture, he asked Derek to grab a machete that was on the wall. He wanted it in the photo. You can read the article here, but the photo is no longer online. Darnit. (Orlin Cole died in 2011. I’m glad I got to meet him and I have zero doubt he would have done a better job in congress than 99% of the slackers we’ve elected.)

Then there was the time we tried out for the Real World together (rejected). And the time his mom drove us up to Durango for the day (I love his mom, btw). And the time he went to play bass in the back of a head shop and I sat on a couch with a sketchy ass dude watching Mr. Ed on a black and white tv. Good times.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADerek took this pic of me in Durango. Sometime in 2005.

We lost touch for the most part when I moved to LA. He was busy with law school and I was busy with work and cohabiting with my now husband. After we moved back here, we saw each other a few times. He came to my wedding. We met for a breakfast or two, but he was now a new, VERY busy rookie attorney and I was a newlywed. Crazily enough, he moved into our apartment complex about a year ago. I was pregnant and he felt an instant connection with my unborn baby. He’s now a doting Uncle Derek to Henry.

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So when he offered me some work, I couldn’t resist. It’s been great hanging out with him again. Nothing has changed. We still joke around. We still goof off. We spent most of my first day yesterday laughing. I might never get any work done. We’re no longer the carefree kids we used to be, but yet we’re the same. It’s very comforting.

I used to keep a pretty epic MySpace blog. Seriously, it was good. I was just going through it because I knew I had written a few about Derek and I came across one I wrote the day he moved to Boston for law school. Honestly, I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again, so I feel even more lucky to have him back in my life now. Enjoy:

Derek,

I just said goodbye to you on your front porch.  I tried not to cry in front of you because even though I am sad to see you leave, I am excited about your life and this great opportunity. Today when we picked up your rental truck, I could just feel the excitement you felt, and I was genuinely happy for you.

But as soon as I got in my car, I couldn’t help but start to cry.  I started to remember all the things that made you become my best friend. Derek and Katy are almost synonymous with each other. I rarely go anywhere without you by my side. I can’t see going into Burt’s without you, even though I know I will have to eventually if I want a social life.  But will it be the same?  Not even close.

Who else am I going to wander downtown with on a Saturday morning while hungover? Who else am I going to make modern art with while listening to Bright Eyes? Who else is going to make a cd with me and tell me I have a good voice while I’m screaming “freedom bombs” into the mic? Who else is going to have the same faith in me that you do?

You know what’s weird and something I never told you?  I knew as soon as I met you that we were going to be best friends.  Seriously. You were just so smart and political and amazing…there is a reason you are in my life. You have taught me and shown me things (literally) that I only imagined to be real before. I’m a better person because of you.

I cherished the last few months because I knew you’d be leaving.  We would be hanging out (like the 4th of July) and I would just think to myself that I wish that moment wouldn’t end because there would never be one like it again.  And I know, I know, it’s not like your dead or anything…but you are moving so far away, and we are grown ups now who have to face reality–things change. It is very likely that I may never see you again.  I hope that isn’t the case, but life has taught me this harsh lesson. I’ve said many goodbyes to people with promises of future reunions only to never see them again.

I’m so proud of you Derek, for everything. Your strength and determination are ones to be envied. You know how most people say they are going to do something but then never do?  Yeah, that’s not you.  You dream big and make it happen.  That is so cool to me.

This little letter has gone on long enough and you were never one for sap, so I’m going to end it with something I think you need to hear more in your life:  I love you and I will miss you.

You are the best person I know.

Love,  Katy

So. That sums it up.

If you’re curious as to how he became such a successful lawyer so quickly, you must watch this news video. It’s the best. He got A LOT of business from that interview. (Note: this was the lead story on the 10 o’clock local news. I heart New Mexico).

My baby plays the guitar. I pick a banjo now.

Not feeling so motivated to blog today. There is a lot on my mind. Something in particular that really hurts my feelings and makes me sad. The time has come to where I just have to let go. Let the past be the past and move on. But it’s hard. I’m grateful that I have good friends and a caring husband to listen to support me. That helps.

So instead of a blog today, I’m going to post this video by Hootie, I mean Darius Rucker. I am a little obsessed with it. I love the original song by Old Crow Medicine Show because Chris put it on the very first mix CD he ever made me (do people do that anymore?) I get all emotional when I hear this song and Hootie Rucker does it beautifully.

 

 

 

Weddings, fun, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus full of tranquilizers today. I actually slept until almost 10 am (which is really late for me). Then my wonderful husband got us breakfast burritos at Weck’s, a fabulous New Mexico eatery. After I ate, I went back to sleep until 3 pm. Let me just reiterate that I NEVER SLEEP THAT MUCH. I honestly don’t think I even slept that much in college.

Yesterday, I got up early to get a hair cut (no hair color yet — even though my roots and gray hairs are screaming for help). We were heading to Santa Fe for my friend Julie’s wedding in the afternoon, so I had some time when I got home to get ready. I passed out on the couch. Mouth wide open, drooling, the whole nine. Chris had to shake me awake so I could get dressed.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful and we were placed at a table of really fun people. Incidentally, everyone at the table were huge dog lovers and at one point, we all whipped out our cell phones and passed around pictures of our pups. We spent the whole night laughing and talking. My feet were killing me so I sat most of the night, but wow, was the wedding a party. Anyone who knows me knows I love to dance. I would glance over to the packed dance floor with envy. At one point after the cake cutting, my right leg went numb. I looked down at my feet and they were double the size they were just minutes earlier. Cue to leave.

I think it was too much fun for my preggo body. Henry was all, “Hey jerks, I was trying to sleep but that Earth, Wind, and Fire made that extremely difficult! Now you will pay!”

This song also made a cameo at our September wedding. Henry will learn to love it.

Anyway, I’m still exhausted now, so I have no worries about bedtime. I read online that at 27 weeks pregnant, many women get extreme fatigue. Totally normal and annoying pregnancy symptom.

Highlight: Chris with a cut out of the Duke. The bride’s father is a big John Wayne fan, and they had this fun cut out and props. We were the first to partake, of course.

I love this man so much! The one on the right, I mean.

In other baby-related news, we are starting to get his room all set up. My husband has been working diligently to get rid of a bunch of stuff in the second bedroom. He’s been nesting more than me. In a couple weeks, my in-laws are coming into town for the baby shower (eek!) and staying with us. I’m a freak about this place being spotless when guests are coming, so I want everything perfect. As soon as they leave, the guest bed gets taken out and the crib put in. My mom and step dad generously purchased our crib and mattress last week. I’m so excited to put it together and get everything set up.

I want some ice cream.

Colorado and goodbyes.

I was so excited to go out of town last week, even if it was for a night. Chris and I love travelling together and we always have a blast. It could be because we leave our mundane worries at home or it could just be we enjoy each others company. Either way, it’s awesome.

On Friday, we drove 200 miles to Durango, CO — one of my favorite places on planet Earth. That might seem like a long way to go for 24 hours, but honestly, we really enjoy the road trip part of it just as much as the destination. Northern New Mexico is gorgeous (and quirky), and we have fun having long conversations and laughing. We did not turn on the radio or play tunes from the iPhone. Nope. We just talked. Brilliant nuggets of convos such as: “Chris, these rocks could be petrified Dinosaur poop. I’m not a scientist, but it kind of looks like it.”

When we arrived in Durango, it was pouring rain. We didn’t care though. We pulled out my old pink Umbrella that I got at a Walgreens in San Francisco years ago. Chris held it for us. Another reason why I love him: he doesn’t give a s–t  about holding a pepto pink umbrella in broad daylight.

Downtown Durango is great. Lots of cool boutiques, restaurants, coffee shops…you get it. We stopped into the Old Tymer’s Cafe, which we later found out is co-owned by Christopher Lloyd. We had no idea, but had we known, we would have sought it out for sure (big Back to the Future fans in this household). The food was really great, too.

Outside of the Durango train station. This picture is very American.

Afterwards we did a lot of walking. I shopped in a cute little baby store and we went to a couple clothing stores. My leg was doing it’s burning/numbing routine, but I sucked it up. It’s my vacation! So off we headed to the Animas River to walk around some more. And some more.

I want to live here.

Swelling in process. 

By the time we checked into our hotel, my WHOLE BODY was swollen. I looked in the mirror and actually kinda scared myself. And the cankles? I’ve never seen anything like it. Instead of Mayor of Cankle Town, Chris said I was the Professor Emeritus of National Cankle University. I totally was. But this time, it was all over my body. My wrists starting hurting really bad shortly thereafter, which is a common complaint when retaining water. Nice.

Oh! I did have a hormonal moment: as we we were walking along the river, a very pretty blonde cyclist passed us and smiled at me. I immediately burst into tears because my leg was numb, I was swollen, and felt gross. Chris of course just hugged me and told me I was not gross, I was carrying his baby, and to shut up. (Ok, he didn’t tell me to shut up, he was actually really sweet, but I am sure you are sick of hearing about that).

He really is sweet, though.

The next morning, we did more of the day before: shopping, eating, and walking along the river before we headed home. We were happy to get home to our Quincy. She was happy to see us, too.

And exhausted. She passed out on the baby clothes I was putting away.

Yesterday, we said goodbye (or see ya later) to one of my best friends, Park. He has decided to get the hell out of Albuquerque and finally have some adventures. Park has always been there for me and supported all my decisions, so even though I was bummed to see him go, he’s got my full support. He deserves it. When I moved to LA in 2006, he came out to visit me with his brother Sam and spent the entire day with me going to the Getty Museum, Universal Studios, and Santa Monica Boardwalk. He even insisted on buying me a new watch so I wouldn’t be late for my new job. He’s, simply put, a wonderful person and I’ll miss him a lot…until October when he’s coming back for my baby shower. He promised. Now that it’s in writing, he can’t back out.

Getty Museum, 2006.

Last night. Outfits very similar. 

A week 7 retrospective (and other stuff)

Today was a much better day than yesterday. Thanks to all my friends for cheering me up. Ya’ll are the best.

I got a call today from my doctor with the final screening results for chromosomal abnormalities (this one included neural tube defects and spina bifida). We are the lowest possible risk for all of that stuff, which was good news. That tidbit helped me put things into better perspective and realize what’s truly important here.

On to week 7, or “when shit got real”:

The morning sickness has kicked into full force. I was getting worried about not being nauseous enough. But first day in week 7 and I’m nauseous constantly. CONSTANTLY.

I’ve lost ALL of the water weight I put on. All 9 pounds. NINE POUNDS. Maybe it has something to do with peeing every hour on the hour in the night? Yeah, probably.

The dizziness has subsided for the most part, which is great. I can take a shower now without feeling like falling over. I might barf in the shower, but I won’t be swaying while doing it.

We tried to call Chris’s parents yesterday to tell them the big news, but they were at Disneyland. Yes, Disneyland. Alone. Just the two of them. And having a freaking blast. So hopefully they will call soon and then I can tell other family members (but probably not for a while — I’m still paranoid about telling people).

Oh, Google is the devil. DEVIL. When you are pregnant, do not Google anything. Especially miscarriage or other complications that can occur in pregnancy. To be clear, I have had ZERO complications — no spotting, no cramping. Just some little twinges here and there of the uterus stretching. Yet, because I had the miscarriage last time, I am a nervous wreck. The hormones making me extrememly emotional don’t help either. I Google and cry, Google and cry. It’s a sad, sad cycle. So if you found this blog by googling “miscarriage” or something, GET OFF THE INTERNET! We’re in this together. It’s going to be fine.

Five more weeks until my first OB appointment! I literally have a countdown for it on my iPhone. I am so excited/nervous.

Chris has been beyond wonderful taking care of me. He’s amazing. I don’t know how I got so lucky. He puts up with my hormonal crying like a champ. He deserves a medal or a plaque of some sort.

The nausea didn’t go away. The projectile vomiting is yet to come. I did not gain any more water weight (or weight, still. The double green chile cheeseburger I had for dinner tonight might change that, though. No shame. It was delicious).

Just a couple more days until we do the grand tour of the maternity ward where I’ll be pushing. AAANNNNDDDD….only 5 more days until we get the level 2 ultrasound and find out if it’s a boy bean or girl bean. I still think girl. I just hope this little hopper cooperates. Speaking of which, I feel this baby move all day long. When I’m running around like crazy at work, or getting stressed, and I feel it moving…it just makes everything ok.

Our favorite schnauzer who has no idea she won’t be our number one child once the baby gets here. She’ll still be spoiled, she just won’t be the complete center of attention.

Rude awakening.

Random stuff.

Today was a busy day.

We had our monthly OB appointment this AM. Just a quickie listen to the heartbeat and tell me everything looks good. Chris and I were talking about how the doctor’s mood has shifted so much since our first appointment. Maybe she was having a bad day that day, but our fist appointment was basically just a stern talking to about not gaining weight and risks that overweight mothers face. The last couple appointments, my weight hasn’t changed and my blood pressure and labs came back “perfect” (her words), so she is much more relaxed. She comes in laughing and joking with us, with zero mention about my weight. Thank god, because I wouldn’t be able to handle the monthly reminders. I’m sure that will change as the months go on…

Work was crazy busy, but I got so much done. I love that feeling of accomplishment. I did feel the bean moving all day, which made it a little harder to focus because it’s so cool. Of course, I was exhausted, so I drank a real Dr. Pepper in the afternoon. GASP! The first caffeine/sugar drink I’ve had in a long time. It helped. The baby liked it, too.

When I got home and checked the mail, I found a gift from our good friends in LA, Christine and Jake. Our first baby gift! It’s the cutest little baby Pooh doll from Disneyland. I love it so much and will always cherish it as baby’s first bear.

I also got the clothes I ordered, which include a new dress. That will make the 4th dress I’ve bought so far this summer. You know what’s comfortable when you’re pregnant? Dresses. My jeans still fit me, but the rubber band trick isn’t going to do the trick for much longer.

Now, I’m about to crawl into bed and continue reading Bringing Up Bebe. I’ve heard a ton of good things about this book, but I get super annoyed at all the “french are better than Americans at xxx” rhetoric. This book is nothing like that. First of all, it reads like a novel. I couldn’t put it down the first night I got it. Secondly, the author does not romanticize France or Paris at all. She speaks very honestly about the ups and downs of living in Paris and getting along with Parisians. This book is more of an observation on how the French raise their children from her point of view. If I can even pick up a morsel of helpful info on how to raise a happier child, then it’s worth it.

I’ll give a full review when I’m done.

Bonne nuit!

 

Wednesday Wins: 2/1/12

I will admit, I came very close to not writing anything today. I’ve had one of those days where I just wanted to come home, eat a pound of chocolate, and then curl up under the covers and cry. I am home now, but instead of chocolate, I ate some fresh mozzarella, and instead of crying, I am blogging. That’s the point of this thing for me; to stop seeing the negative in so many things and focus on the positive. It’s worked, too. I am much happier now than I was a year ago, for sure. Even though I am working on changing a couple of things, my life is awesome. I am very lucky.

So it might just be trivial things like salad or lipstick, but it makes me happy on days like today. And that’s the point.

1) Purple nail polish: My friend Natalie was wearing this a couple of weeks ago at dinner, and I had to be a copycat and buy it myself. Now I know what nail polish I will be wearing to Tamara’s wedding in April! It will match that pretty purple bridesmaid dress perfectly.

It’s called “Iris I was Thinner.” How fitting.

Free money: We were chosen for a Nielsen study. They sent us $30 in new bills and a couple of TV diaries to start filling out tomorrow. My goal is to get one of the boxes and get paid on a regular basis for watching Toddlers & Tiaras and Teen Mom.

Free money is so pretty.

Friends:  I have some really great friends. They are so funny, and smart, and reliable. All of them. One shining example is my friend Chris Park. He must have sensed that I’ve been kinda bummed, because he called me out of the blue yesterday to take me to lunch. We usually hang out with my husband and other people as a group, and it was nice to get some alone Chris Park time again. He took me to eat sushi, which reminded me of all the times I was a poor college student and he treated me to the delicious raw fish that was way beyond my budget. He’s one of the most generous, kind people I know. I’ve also known him for 10 years now. As Park would say, “Dude, we’re so old!”