Stepping back. Or to the side. I’m not sure.

A friend of mine posed a question on Facebook recently: When was the last time you got annoyed with anyone that wasn’t because of something they said on Facebook? I’m paraphrasing awfully. Her question was much more eloquent. But it rang true for me. I get SO ANNOYED by people I usually treasure by things they share, post, or do on Facebook. These things are starting to define these people for me, and who knows how many people think less of me from the BS I post on a daily basis (for the record, mostly Henry pics). But still! I got into a heated exchange with a girl that I have known since 2000, an ex college roommate. I love this girl and think the world of her. Then I post an article she doesn’t agree with, she kinda attacks the article, I attack her, and now a bitter taste is left in my mouth even though we hugged it out. Over what? A Facebook post? Ridiculous.

On a larger scale, I’ve had to hide the feeds of people I care about because everything EVERYTHING they post makes me roll my eyes. It isn’t their fault, it’s mine and my weird hang ups on different topics. In real life if these topics come up, we can discuss them, laugh about them, move on. On social media, it sits there and stares at you all day until more crap¬†pushes it off your page. A cycle of never-ending stupid. I’ve lost friendships over misunderstandings on Facebook. Real, long-standing friendships. They see a picture and jump to wild conclusions and delete me and never talk to me again. Yes, this happened. So I’m taking a break. I doubt anyone will even notice, unless they read it here or wonder where their daily Henry pic has gone. And those who do notice will text me and we’ll talk and then I will re-activate it soon, and most will be none the wiser. Either way, I’m backing way off. Maybe I’ll have more time for blogging. Wouldn’t you be so lucky.

 

 

Hello, my name is Katy and I have an addiction.

I read an article about how Facebook makes people unhappy. I think it’s true. Sure, I have some hilarious, intelligent friends who make me laugh daily but I also spend a lot of time rolling my eyes. We also live in a day and age where it’s perfectly acceptable to “unfriend” people you’ve known for years as a way to let them know you’re pissed off. It’s a passive aggressive dream come true. That alone makes me sad and disappointed, so I figured it was time to take a break.

The one thing I really need is an extra dose positivity. My husband is still unemployed and where we will be living after February is up in the air. He has some great leads out there so I’m praying one works out.

Anyway. It lasted 12 hours. TWELVE HOURS! Restraint is obviously not my strong suit. After I put Henry to bed, I sat down and really needed to see what foods my friend ate that day or something. Sad.

But despite my obvious addiction, I’m going to try to stay off it when I’m at home with Henry. I think I already do pretty good at that, but I can do better. Also, I really want to finish a couple books I’ve started and I still have one season of Dexter left. Priorities, people.

henry readingHenry checked with his Ocean Buddies book and then told me, “yep, mom, you have problems.” (recycled Instagram pic taken during the great FB hiatus of 2014)

I know I’m not alone here. What is it about social media sites that makes it so difficult to disconnect? And which ones are you addicted to? I don’t do the Twitter, but I love FB and Instagram. Also Pinterest, but that’s different. Chime in.

 

Just venting. Moving on.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m confused. Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of Facebook snark about people talking/posting pictures about/of their kids. I’m sure it was there before I had a kid of my own, but I must not have paid attention. Personally, I LOVE when people write about their babies and I LOVE LOVE LOVE when I get to see cute babies in my feed, rather than lame internet memes involving grumpy cats or uninformed political s***. ¬†But when my friends post about their hobbies, their careers, their businesses, their families, whatever makes them happy – that’s what I like to see on Facebook. Take a picture of your damn salad. If you enjoyed it, then hell, good for you.

Now I know this snark isn’t aimed at me (and I’m sure most of it is just lighthearted ribbing), but I have to admit I take it a little personally. So, my life was ok to write about when I was bitching about Monday mornings or hailing the arrival of Fridays, but it’s lame to take a picture of my baby and post it? Because I’m pretty sure both things are a part of my life and that’s what we do on social media sites, right? We write about whatever we want, whatever is going on. Right now, for me, the most important and wonderful thing happening to me is Henry. Period. I’ve never been happier, more in love, more fulfilled, more inspired. Is that a bad thing? Should I run out and find another job to fulfill me and then it will be ok? Will I be cool again? Is that more respectable?

In my early 20’s, I had a friend ask me if I ever wanted to be a stay at home mom. I told her I wasn’t sure because I’m a feminist and women should have careers like men. I didn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant, spending my days changing diapers and sweeping floors. Then she told me something I have never forgotten: If a woman chooses to stay at home with her kids, if that’s her choice, is that not feminism? That we are lucky enough to be able to choose?

That empowered me when we made the difficult decision that I would take care of our kids. No one takes better care of her babies than their mothers and that’s what I intend to do. I’ve had a pretty good career so far, making decent salaries with good benefits, which is what made this a huge decision for our family. But, as of today, as of right this moment, I never felt an ounce of the happiness I feel seeing my baby grow, change, discover new things, and smile. And that’s my job now. The job I chose. It doesn’t come with a paycheck or a set of business cards, and apparently I’ve lost the respect of some people, but that’s ok. None of that matters. Henry matters.

And if any people on Facebook or Instagram hate looking at my baby, there is a handy unsubscribe feature and an even handier unfriend feature you can use. It won’t hurt my feelings. I use them both often.

You know what else is cool? I’ve always loved writing and wouldn’t you know it. Here I am. Writing.

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