The big one.

We are coming up to the big ONE year mark and I’m part overwhelmed, part sad, part nostalgic, part reeling. Part lots of things I can’t put into words. Of course I’m talking about Henry’s first birthday. We’re doing a small family thing (with a couple close friends too) because money is super tight right now, but I’m excited. Thanks to my mom and aforementioned close friends of mine who are helping, it will be really cute and fun.

I’m putting together a montage video of his first year. Believe me when I say I have no shortage of video for this thing. I would even say I have too much video. Especially after he was a few weeks old. But when he was just brand new and I was up all night nursing and singing to him while trying to recover from a c-section, I was totally negligent in the video department. There are, however, a couple good ones and watching them kinda break my heart into a billion pieces. I will never hold a newborn Henry again. My walking (running) boy who I can barely keep up with now will never look up at me with that sleepy newborn stare. I’ll never be able to make a meatloaf while holding him because he was that tiny and that light. He’s still attached to me at the hip, but my biceps burn a little more each day now. Don’t get me wrong, I love this age. He is so much fun and he sleeps all the way through the night (currently 12 hours a night). That beats waking up every 2-3 hours. Part of me wishes I could have appreciated the early days more. Or at least remembered it more. It’s all kind of a haze. Between the post-partum crap and c-section recovery and the whole no sleep thing, it was rough.

At least I have videos like this (along with a gajillion pictures) to remind me of how sweet he was. This was during a 2 am feeding session.

And compare that to this kid a week ago on Thanksgiving:

Time to go read some of my book (Mockingjay) before bed. Hopefully I can find the page I was on since Henry likes to take out my bookmark and hide it. Goodnight!

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11 months.

Honestly? Where does the time go? I can’t believe I have this almost-toddler now. Henry’s already walking (pretty well too) and eating all the foods (except no peanut butter, honey, or strawberries yet before you become concerned). His new favorite food is apple. I peel one and then chop it into bite-size pieces. He goes nuts for it. Anyway, I just can’t believe that he’s not this little, sedentary baby anymore. And even though things aren’t super great at our house right how, Henry makes everything better. He’s hilarious and smart and charming. I start getting bummed and maybe even let a tear or two fall, and then I look at my baby and remember how lucky I am. Truly, truly blessed. It doesn’t hurt that he loves snuggles and he loves giving kisses. Talk about heart-warmer.

I could go on and on about how amazing I think he is, but I’ll spare you….until his one year post, then you’re in for it.

And if you have some extra prayers or love to send, we could use them right now.

I’ll leave with this picture taken on his 11 month bday. My baby growing up.

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Curveballs and learning to walk.

Oh, how quickly things can change in life. Just when I thought things were finally going my way and I was comfortable for the first time maybe ever, life threw a curveball. I won’t (can’t) go into details, but I will say it’s times like these that remind me of what’s truly important. Things like my healthy and happy baby boy (who is now WALKING at almost 11 months old), a loving husband, and amazing family and friends. I can’t believe the outpouring of support and love I received from the few people I confided in, but it humbles me. It really made the initial shock of what happened much easier to bear and helped me focus on the positive.

I will share what’s going on in the near future, but for now, check out Henry walking. He’s also talking more saying “nana” for his favorite food banana, mama, dada, bye bye, night night, no no, baba (he says this for the actual bottle and also when he’s just hungry. He’ll point to his high chair and say “baba.” If I say, “are you hungry, do you want some dinner?” He’ll say “baba!!” and make his way to the kitchen.)

This video is a few days old. He’s a lot more stable now and even doing a little bit of running, which is fun (not really).