Showers and new beginnings.

In just a couple short months, my life is going to change drastically. Not only because we’ll have a new baby running the household, but because I will also be leaving my job. Forever. I will be what the Internet calls a SAHM. Stay at home mom.

I’ve been working since I was 16. At a few points in my life, I’ve had two or three jobs at once. It’s pretty scary to not work and to give up an income. But, thankfully, my husband just got a new job that comes with a sizable raise and great benefits. Funds will be tight, but we’ll be able to make it.

The truth is, we just aren’t willing to put a newborn in daycare. Period. Most of my paycheck would have gone to them anyway. Honestly, I can get another job (and do plan on finding freelance work once the baby is a few months old), but I can never get those special moments back.

Just a quick side note: my husband is awesome. Chris knew from the beginning that I wanted to be a SAHM, but just didn’t know if it would ever be possible. He worked his ass off to get a better job and to land a few lucrative freelance gigs that would allow us to be able to afford this. He literally made my dreams come true in this instance, and he did it gladly because he knows it’s the best for his family. It makes me cry to think about how much he loves me and this baby.

Now, just to clarify, I do not think that women who go back to work (by choice or not) are making the wrong decision. I’m a feminist in the truest form – it’s all about choice. I trust that whatever a decision a woman makes is what she feels is best for her family, and I respect that. Same goes with parents who choose to put babies in daycare. I assume they choose safe places for their babies, so that’s great. It’s just something we are choosing not to do. I know how women get sensitive about these issues, so I just had to clear that up. Don’t be sending me nasty emails, ok?

In other news, we had our baby shower and it was a BLAST. My face hurt from laughing so hard. We got all the stuff we needed except for a few odds and ends. But more importantly, I felt overwhelmed by my friends and family who showed up or sent well wishes. I’m a lucky, lucky gal. My mom, mother in law, and friend Natalie did the best job with food and decorations.

My mom framed our baby pics so people could imagine what Henry might look like? I am not sure why. But look how cute Chris is! His parents gave us that little white rocking chair for the baby. I plan on re-creating that photo.

Cute gift table (before guests had arrived). 

Check out this spread!

Delicious cake that turned our lips blue.

On top of baby gear, Chris’s parents also gave us a Scion TC. Ok, they didn’t give it…they just sold it for next to nothing. I mean, like pennies. It’s a couple years old, but like brand new. Have I mentioned how lucky we are? We really are.

The day after the shower, we got up before the sun to take our out of town guests to the Balloon Fiesta. First of all, when you are 7 months pregnant, getting up that early and waddling through giant crowds of people is tough. I took a bunch of photos of balloons, but my favorite picture is this one that Chris got of us as we watch the Dawn Patrol light up.

It was really cold outside and I was so happy and warm at this moment. It’s good to be in love.

Some bullet points.

  • Stressed out with work and other junk.
  • But super happy for my husband who just got a new job at another ad agency with a much bigger job title and all that comes along with that. I might be a little biased, but he’s amazing, so I’m not surprised.
  • Oh and thank god I have my husband. I can’t go into too many details (yet), but he takes care of me.
  • My in-laws are coming into town Thursday and leaving Saturday. I’m excited and nervous. I still like to impress them, you know.
  • Baby shower this weekend. I can’t believe I am at baby shower stage! I’m also overwhelmed at how many people love us — we’ll have lots of family and friends there, and I’m grateful. Get ready for baby games and finger foods, people!
  • I will be 30 weeks pregnant on Wednesday. That just seems nuts to me.
  • Balloon Fiesta time this weekend. I’ve had crazy balloon dreams lately.

That’s really all I got. I could spill some personal drama and have a pity party because I really want to cry all the time these days, but I won’t. I mean, I’ll still go cry. I just won’t write about it on here. Wait…

So, here’s this. Except for the humping things part, it’s just like my dog (which is the point). Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s the deal.

Talking to family today, I was told I should start building my baby registry now. This makes me very anxious as I have yet to buy anything for this baby (except a Beatles shirt I got years ago from a client at my old job in Los Angeles).

See, I had a miscarriage last year, and it was really hard to deal with. It’s still really hard to deal with. It was an early miscarriage, but painful nonetheless. I’m still terrified about this pregnancy, even though I have a feeling everything will be alright. It’s like if I let myself plan anything – a registry, a shower, diapering options – something bad will happen.

As I was going through adding things to a registry that will surely change a lot in the next 5 months (especially once we find out the gender), I felt the little bean in there moving around. It just reminded me that this time is different. Worrying doesn’t help anyone; stress is not healthy for me or baby.

Side note real quick before I move on: miscarriage has a way of fostering loneliness in a way I’ve never felt before. People don’t know what to say or how to act. Sometimes they innocently say something that really stings. Some people don’t understand why it’s hurting so bad. The internet really helped me find stories I could relate to, and if anything, I hope this post helps someone else going through the same thing. Maybe I’ll write something longer in the future, but even putting this out into the universe gives me palpitations.

Moving on. My mom is making a quilt for the baby, and I’ve been sharing it piece by piece on Instragram (follow me, @djkatyk). Today, we went over to her house to help organize the squares. My designer husband was a huge help. The pic below is NOT the final layout. I took it before he worked his magic. I’m so excited to see it finished and have something homemade with so much love for baby K. My mom made me one when I was 20 and I still cherish it.

Here’s what we have so far:

Oh! I just want to reiterate, the Snoogle rocks so much. After the second night of using it, I felt much more rested today. Still sleepy from being pregnant, but not like before. What I need now is a vacation. Or a day off. Or half a day off. I’m not picky.