The big one.

We are coming up to the big ONE year mark and I’m part overwhelmed, part sad, part nostalgic, part reeling. Part lots of things I can’t put into words. Of course I’m talking about Henry’s first birthday. We’re doing a small family thing (with a couple close friends too) because money is super tight right now, but I’m excited. Thanks to my mom and aforementioned close friends of mine who are helping, it will be really cute and fun.

I’m putting together a montage video of his first year. Believe me when I say I have no shortage of video for this thing. I would even say I have too much video. Especially after he was a few weeks old. But when he was just brand new and I was up all night nursing and singing to him while trying to recover from a c-section, I was totally negligent in the video department. There are, however, a couple good ones and watching them kinda break my heart into a billion pieces. I will never hold a newborn Henry again. My walking (running) boy who I can barely keep up with now will never look up at me with that sleepy newborn stare. I’ll never be able to make a meatloaf while holding him because he was that tiny and that light. He’s still attached to me at the hip, but my biceps burn a little more each day now. Don’t get me wrong, I love this age. He is so much fun and he sleeps all the way through the night (currently 12 hours a night). That beats waking up every 2-3 hours. Part of me wishes I could have appreciated the early days more. Or at least remembered it more. It’s all kind of a haze. Between the post-partum crap and c-section recovery and the whole no sleep thing, it was rough.

At least I have videos like this (along with a gajillion pictures) to remind me of how sweet he was. This was during a 2 am feeding session.

And compare that to this kid a week ago on Thanksgiving:

Time to go read some of my book (Mockingjay) before bed. Hopefully I can find the page I was on since Henry likes to take out my bookmark and hide it. Goodnight!


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