I’m working on this long post about my history of diets and losing/gaining weight. It’s really taxing to put all those emotions into words but it’s really helping me. It’s a lot cheaper than paying a therapist, for sure. But Chris and I have started eating a lot healthier (veggies with EVERY meal, ya’ll!) and I’m starting to get serious about exercise. For the first time in my life my motivation doesn’t center around wearing cute clothes or getting a boyfriend. I genuinely just want to be healthier for my child. Henry relies on me to be around a long time and I owe that to him. It’s no longer just a size issue.
In baby news, mama hit a major milestone last week. Chris and I both had a cold or nasty allergies or something. We were miserable. My mom offered to take Henry for the afternoon so I could sleep a little. Tears were abound when I dropped him off. Not Henry’s…mine. As I walked in the door and saw all his little toys and swing, I cried some more. Then I cried in the shower. I didn’t get much sleep. I don’t know why I was more upset than usual. My mom has watched him several times for me when I go to lunch with friends or run an errand. I think I just felt guilty. I need to just suck it up and take care of my kid.
As I was picking him up later, my mom suggested I leave him there for the night. She has been begging me to let him spend the night since he was born, so I wasn’t too surprised she offered. I said no. Then I said maybe. As night approached, I felt even crappier. That’s when I thought that I should probably take my mom up on her offer. I asked my friends their opinions and they all told me I was stupid/crazy/really stupid if I didn’t do it. Chris, of course, supports whatever I want and said it was up to me. Sigh.
Through the irrational sobs, I packed up the pack n’ play, clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, blankets, towels, bath gear, and basically everything he owns and drove over to my mom’s house. When I got home, I took the really good drugs, cried a little more, and fell asleep. Twelve hours later when I woke up, I felt like a new person. I was rested, not congested (that rhymes!) and SO ENERGETIC! I hadn’t slept that much since before the baby was born. My mom texted me and said Henry slept almost 10 hours for them and was doing great. I don’t think I can do that very often, but man, what a great resource when I need it. And to know Henry is comfortable and happy makes it even more amazing. A cute side note: It was my step dad who got up at 4 am to feed him, then sang him back to sleep. How sweet is that?
I had to go to court that day because I got pulled over recently. I wasn’t speeding. I never speed. The cop clocked someone else. Thankfully he believed me. Maybe the “Baby on Board” sign in my window helped convince him. Anyway, I didn’t have our updated insurance card with me so I got a citation for that. He didn’t fill out the damn form correctly, so it was immediately dismissed. What a waste of time.
After that, I raced to my mom’s to get Henry. I was smiling ear to ear. I missed him so much that my arms literally ached. He was napping when I got there, but as soon as I heard a little cry, I ran in there to hold him. He was just as happy to see me as I was to see him.
Thank God for Grandma.