I’ve been wanting to write a blog for a few days now, but couldn’t remember my password. The “forget password” feature is great…if you remember which email you used to sign up. Which I don’t. Anyway, I finally got in. Also, Henry is very attached to his mama, so as soon as I decide to do anything non-baby related, he reminds me of his precious existence and demands I pay attention to him. He’s sleeping in his swing now. Let’s see how far I can get.
So much going on, not enough time to blog about it.
- Henry is 1 month old this week. I feel like I’m finally getting this motherhood thing down and becoming more comfortable doing things like clipping his nails (I go old school and chew them off myself. Like a monkey in the wild), giving him a bath, and sucking boogers out of his nose (thank you, saline drops!)
- I still worry about things like feeding him. My breast milk is still not fully in and at this point, it probably won’t ever be. Not for lack of trying! I feel like a freaking dairy cow. I nurse him CONSTANTLY and then pump. But, I’m going to boob him until I can’t boob no more. And supplement with formula. A growing boy has got to eat, and as long as he’s getting some of the liquid gold at every meal, I’m ok with that. I was NOT ok with that for a long time and spent a fair amount of time crying/feeling extremely guilty, but I’m over that now. The act of nursing in of itself, I love, and so does Henry. He just doesn’t get a full meal unfortunately. I’m also pumping and supplementing that way, so my guilt levels are slowly dwindling. And who knows, it could all turn around and I could nurse exclusively. I ain’t giving up yet. **Oh, and please no breastfeeding advice. I’ve talked to lactation consultants, borderline harassed my pediatrician for reassurance and guidance, and read everything you can read on it. I can’t take anymore advice. I get it.**
- THANK YOU LORD FOR MY HUSBAND. I get the weekends to catch up on sleep thanks for my wonderful husband. He’ll stay up late and let me get a head start on bedtime. I will get like 6-7 hours sleep on the weekends, which are like, amazing. He also changes all diapers when he’s home. That’s invaluable. He’s a great emotional support too, and doesn’t make me feel crazy for being crazy.
- I am also thankful to the Lord for having such a good baby. He’s so easy going and such a deep sleeper. Actually, his deep sleepiness scares the crap out of me. I’m always checking to see if he’s breathing. I have to tickle him to get him to very slightly move. Then I lay down. And check on him again in 10 minutes. It’s eerie how deep he sleeps! You’d do it too, you know it.
- Some sad news: Quincy (my beloved fur baby) was staying at my mom’s house while I healed from the c-section. We brought her home and after a couple days, she was miserable and I was miserable because she was so miserable. Everything around here had changed and I wasn’t exclusively paying attention to her. Her anxiety levels were through the roof. When I was nursing Henry, she would shake so hard that the whole couch would move. When he cried, she would start shaking and crying. No matter how many methods we used to try to soothe her, it didn’t work. On top of that, my mom’s miniature schnauzer, Benny, went into a deep doggy depression after Quincy left. He wouldn’t eat or go outside. So, I had to make a heart breaking decision, for Quincy’s sake and ours, and let her go back to my mom’s. I just couldn’t stand her being so miserable and anxious. It was really hard to watch. Over at my mom’s, she thrives. She has a yard to play in, my step dad lets her sleep next to him in bed, and she has her friend Benny. She also gets a treat for everything. It’s doggy paradise over there. Hopefully this is not permanent, because we miss her terribly, but I couldn’t stand seeing her so anxious and miserable. Change is not easy. Not for us and not for Quincy. Oh great, now I’m crying again.
- I cry a lot.
- I have great friends who make/bring me food all the time. Thank you, friends. I probably wouldn’t eat some days if it weren’t for you.
So that pretty much catches us up. We cancelled cable, and put Apple TV’s and HD digital receivers in both rooms. So we get the networks and all kinds of shows. I’ve been watching Revenge on Netflix. It’s kind of a stupid show, which means I can’t stop watching it.
Baby is stirring now. I made it through a whole blog post!
Obligatory baby photos: