Busting at the seams.

This morning Chris and I got up early to take my bridesmaids dress in for alterations. We went to a home in the heights (for all of you non-Albuquerque residents, think Walt’s neighborhood in Breaking Bad) that was turned into an office space. No, she doesn’t work from home. She lives somewhere else. This house is all business.

I was nervous because the bust was tight, but she told me to take off my strapless bra and it would fit perfectly. What? No way. But I complied and she was right. That bra added at least 2 inches and I didn’t even need it. Now the dress fit perfectly and holds everything in. She then adjusted the straps and told me she was going to alter them so they attach more toward the center of my back. Here is where it got interesting.

She told me she wanted me to dance the day away and she’d know how to keep everything in since she herself is a competitive ballroom dancer. Then she pulled out all of her elaborate self-made dance costumes. These things looked straight Dancing with the Stars style. As she was pinning the hem, she told me stories about her championships and showed me newspaper articles.

Did I mention this woman is in her 60’s? She is. And in amazing shape. Then she told me she stays in shape by dancing of course, and…competitive table tennis. She plays table tennis in the Senior Olympics. She’s really nervous about playing against the Chinese this year. “The balls move so fast, you can’t even see them!” There is also the time she beat out the guy from California who travels from town to town like some sort of ping-pong renegade playing in table tennis tournaments. She met him on a cruise ship this year (which randomly had a ping-pong tournament taking place), and after hearing about his international winning spree, was really nervous. No need though; she totally schooled him and showed us her cruise-ship-shaped gold medal.

When this was done, I was looking in the full length mirror, my dress all pinned up and looked super cute. I was so relieved and got really excited to wear it. She told me she weighed 105 pounds and asked me how much I weighed. She is foreign, so I really didn’t think twice about the question. I told her, “A lot more that 105 pounds.” She smiled and said, “You are gorgeous. But you lose 20 pounds and you’ll be a knockout.” Some might see that as a diss, but my thought was, “Only 20?!? Sweet!” Then she told me I had nice boobs. Thanks again!

Chris and I talked to her some more before heading out and getting breakfast at Golden Pride and doing some grocery shopping. I told him that’s what I missed most about living in Albuquerque when I was so homesick in LA. I missed the people of Albuquerque. They are so weird and wonderful and infuriating and interesting. I can’t wait to go back and pick up my dress next week (she works fast!) just so I can talk to her some more and see how her tournament went against the Chinese. I told her I’d say a little prayer.

I bet she wins.


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